Yet another round of sickness has made it through our family. It was quite a doozy and we are still not 100% but definitely better than last weekend. This time while sick I had plenty of time to think. I couldn’t do anything else, even holding a book required too much effort. So think and pray is what I did. Realizing how plans change, how dreams change and that is okay. Even a few months ago I would have been fighting to keep my dreams, fighting for the things that I want. There is a peace this time too. Knowing that things are going to have to change to accommodate what is to come and we need to make the changes now to plan for the future.
You see my husband and I both have medical problems. Most of the time these things aren’t issues but when there are flare ups and we are both stuck with problems at the same time it isn’t pleasant for anyone. So letting go of dreams to make room for new ones. How do we make it work? How do we plan for the future and future needs? How do we need to change? How will these changes affect our children? The list goes on. It is exciting to plan for something new and not know what to expect.
The dishes once again piled in the sink. The laundry still not completely done. And yet, I am getting it. The tasks don’t take as long. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. I will, no I must do these tasks over and over so that I can take care of my family. So that there can be meals prepared, so that we can sit down at a table together and fellowship, so that we can teach our children. Every time I do these tasks I am doing something. Something is better than nothing.
With each chore completed, taking less time to do each time, the plans and dreams for our home are becoming clearer. What is truly important. Teaching and modeling for our children what being a good steward is. The value of an apology, forgiveness, grace, and compassion. Yes, the housework is important but teaching my children to love and serve Jesus is absolutely necessary. The importance of being authentic. Living a life in earnestness of our creator. Delighting in him and bringing Him glory.
13 days into 2016. 13 days of fresh starts and new beginnings. Trying to remind myself of this daily. It is a new day. So what if I didn’t get everything on my list done. Most days it has been plans, what plans. Flying by the seat of my pants. Praying. Praying with the wrong motives and for the wrong reasons. Lord, let my children be good today so that I can get my tasks done so I can feel like I am moving in the right direction. Lord, what am I doing so wrong? I feel like I am a horrible mother. What is wrong.”
Then last night and today. The reminder that I have not been in His word. At all. I desire to do it and have had times when I could and should but I don’t. I chose something else. I chose something over Him and His presence. I talk to my children all day about choices. You can make good choices and bad choices and there are consequences to both.
Dealing with issues of the heart and flesh, is never easy. The start to this year has been less then ideal. To say it has been rough would be an understatement. When I was having those challenging days what if instead of complaining I prayed, ” Lord, capture their hearts, capture mine. Change our hearts, our attitudes, our desires. Lord, help me show grace.” Oh, how different my days might have gone.
These are just my random thoughts for the day. New day, new year. Big changes. Small changes. Looking forward to what our family will learn and experience this year.
More sickness. More cuddles.Watching cooking shows together. Discussing cooking techniques and methods. This is how we are spending our Friday night